argh!

Do you ever feel like you can't catch a freaking break?

I swear! My next surgery 2 surgeries ago was supposed to be for new boobs, slimmer thighs and a tummy tuck....not that I can afford it, but my personal theory is that being put general anesthesia can't be good for ones body - so I wanted to limit my time spent under for something awesome like having my boobs put back to where God wanted them originally.

I got more bad news today about my back. As you may remember - I was supposed to have back surgery last December but bailed on it because of money and I wasn't currently having a terrible flare up. I am back "on" with the terrible flare up.
A flare up happens when my already severely herniated disc gets squished more between the vertebrae and presses even more on my nerve which in this case is my sciatic nerve. It is being pressed between L4-L5 and L5-S1. before it was mostly my left side - this summer my right side has been added to the party.

So now during a flare up from my butt to my calf I have a burning charlie horse. It is not fun! Certain life style choices I have made increase my risk of flare ups, they are:

Wearing flip flops...who wants to wear their orthopedic tennis shoes in the summer? Me I guess

Gardening....I should be allowed to use a shovel to dig out weeds and plant flowers with out pain.

Walking, lifting, bending, sitting - sitting has become so bad because your sciatic nerve exits your pelvis into your buttocks - so when I sit it immediately puts more pressure on that nerve and I lose sensation in my legs and feet - they immediately fall asleep.

So, on a normal day my toes are always tingley - on a bad day I am not sure how many toes I have.

So I have continue my drug therapy for the moment. I have been on:
Flexaril, Ultram, Vicodin, Loratab, Lyrica and now I am on Topomax - Lyrica made me gain 3 lbs and I can't be having that! I freaked out w/ the Dr. today. He said a lot of people lose weight on Topomax. I am eager! I hope it helps dull the nerve pain!

So the bad news is: The nerve is being pressed harder on both sides now. My pain management Dr. agreed that the cortisone epidurals are no longer effective in treating the pain. He said I need to do whatever it takes to get my surgery asap. He re-refered me to the Neurologist. It is sad when your pain mgmt Dr. says you need surgery. BLAH.... he said that I likely have permanent nerve damage and that my toes may always be tingley even after they fix my back. That is so scary because I am only 32!! So anyways I will prepare myself for yet ANOTHER surgery that I can't afford. I owe so many frickin people money - it is not even funny! I don't know what I am going to do! Have to spend our Spain money on back surgery?